Every couple hopes to treat each other with respect and respect each other as guests. But when it comes to trivial matters, big and small, no matter how harmonious a couple is, they will inevitably have disagreements and disputes. A report published in the American "Psychology Today" magazine pointed out that learning to quarrel correctly can help couples resolve conflicts and enhance understanding. For this reason, American gender relationship expert Barton Goldsmith gave the golden rule for couples to quarrel.

Do not argue in front of children or outsiders. Always resolve disputes privately, and especially don't argue in front of your children to avoid making them feel insecure. If your child sees you arguing, be sure to let him or her know that you have resolved the issue and made peace. Don't let outsiders hear your quarrels, as that may escalate the war.

Don’t rush to judge or label the other person. "You are just a lazy person", "Why can't you do any housework well?" and other similar concluding remarks will make the person being accused feel depressed and even less willing to cooperate with your requests, which will ultimately lead to a tense family atmosphere. Try to look at the other person's behavior from a comprehensive perspective. He may have silently poured you a glass of water but forgot to tidy up the messy desk. Careful observation and gentle words can warm people's hearts.

Don't worry about property issues. Equality between husband and wife does not mean fussing over housework, property and other issues. Do not emphasize that you make more money during a quarrel, as this will make the other party feel disrespected.

Never slam the door and walk away. Express your feelings as gently as possible. Acting in an aggressive manner, showing a ferocious face, blushing, or simply rushing out of the door will only make you appear more rude or aggressive, and make it more difficult for the other party to change from their heart.

Don't be silent. If you have a slight disagreement with your partner, you will remain silent and depressed. The problem will not be solved, but will only hurt the other person's feelings. Respect different viewpoints and the other party will be willing to exchange ideas with you, so as to achieve the purpose of getting along with each other comfortably and being connected.

Don't just blame the other person. Blaming the other party's fault will not solve the problem better, but will easily make the other party feel rebellious and make it more difficult to reach consensus. When right and wrong are difficult to distinguish, we must learn to share responsibility.

Don't keep bringing up the past. Once a quarrel breaks out, some people will not only raise their voices to increase their momentum, but in order to "defeat" the other party, they will often bring up some trivial matters, such as what the other party said before they were married, etc. These topics will make the quarrel more and more pointy. More, it is wise to argue based on the facts.

Don't just complain. We must actively solve problems, especially when facing difficulties, such as financial crises, tense relationships between husband and wife, conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, etc. We must use an optimistic attitude to solve problems and come up with solutions that are beneficial to everyone. The more positive and optimistic the decisions you make and the more you consider everyone's feelings, the better the results will be.

Don't be cold-hearted after a quarrel. Reconciliation after a quarrel can make you appreciate each other more, because you have once again experienced a difficult test. Giving each other a tight hug and a passionate kiss is better than giving each other a cold shoulder.