Is narcissism wonderful or helpless?
In fact, everyone will have more or less narcissistic tendencies - as small as focusing on grooming a fingernail, as big as loving yourself but not being able to love other people. Everyone should love themselves, but it is dangerous to love too much. Narcissists appreciate themselves, care about whether others pay attention to themselves, and expect recognition or praise from others. However, they lack the ability to get along and communicate with others on an equal footing, so they live very tiredly.
Keeping a diary may be one of the manifestations of narcissism
On the surface, keeping a diary can record important events and exercise writing skills, but from a motivational perspective, it may be for Satisfy narcissism. There is a set of foreign cartoons - "A Girl's Day", which depicts the daily experience of an eleven or twelve-year-old girl: getting up, looking in the mirror, dressing up, playing with a boy of similar age, and the boy gave her a flower. , kissed her, then went home, wrote a diary, and finally fell asleep sweetly in the beautiful mood after writing the diary. It is conceivable that this little girl is very satisfied with herself, and the experience during the day proves how correct she is in being satisfied with herself. Of course, such things should be recorded in a warm-colored diary so that they can be re-read over and over again in the future to satisfy the narcissistic complex.
If a diary is a book, then this book usually has only one reader - the author himself. Those who show their diaries magnify their narcissism. However, the fact that primary school students keep diaries under pressure from teachers and parents has nothing to do with narcissism.
Who is more narcissistic, men or women?
There is a humor: A person asked, is the mosquito resting on the mirror male or female? Another person replied: It must be the mother's. This is a conclusion inferred from the behavioral characteristics of women. It seems that it is an indisputable fact that women like to look in the mirror. At this point we can talk about the differences between men and women in narcissism. Who is more narcissistic, men or women? This question seems difficult to answer. A psychologist did an experiment where they placed a large mirror on the roadside and observed who would take a photo. The results of the experiment surprised psychologists: men like to look in the mirror more than women! However, this experiment also has loopholes. Some people would say that women spend several times more time than men grooming themselves before going out. Of course, they no longer need to use the roadside mirror.
It may never be clear who is more narcissistic, men or women, but there are differences in the narcissistic styles of men and women. Looking in the mirror is ironclad evidence of women's narcissism, while pursuing higher authority and greater success is a typical manifestation of men's narcissism.
General narcissism is not necessarily a bad thing. For example: Artists' narcissism to a certain extent is not only not a problem sometimes, but can actually increase their personal charm. But moderation is important. Narcissism is like salt for cooking. If it is too little, it will be bland and tasteless. If it is too much, it will be difficult to eat.
Expansion of narcissism
Narcissistic morbid personality is one of the personality disorders. The third edition of the internationally accepted Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders describes this personality as self-righteous and self-absorbed. personality. Its main characteristics are: strong desire for self-expression and desire to gain attention and envy from others; consistent self-evaluation, thinking that one is talented and capable, often unrealistically exaggerating one's own achievements, and tending to be extremely self-absorbed ; Apt to have fantasies about vast seas and sky, the content is mostly self-narcissistic, such as imagining that oneself will achieve great things, and honors and enjoyments will follow one after another; The tendency of lust for power is obvious, expecting others to give them special preference and care, and being unwilling to take responsibility for each other, Rarely realize that their deprivation of sexual behavior is selfish and arbitrary; lack a sense of responsibility, often justify their irresponsibility with arrogance, arrogance, rhetoric and blame-shifting attitudes, and ignore correct self-respect and self-respect; in interpersonal communication In terms of communication, he lacks emotional communication with others and likes to take advantage; when facing criticism and setbacks, he either shows disdain or shows strong anger, humiliation or emptiness; it is easy to give people the illusion of indifference and cynicism, but in fact But he cares about the attention and praise of others; he will do whatever it takes to obtain personal interests, he only wants to enjoy himself and does not want to pay, etc. Narcissism is a widespread phenomenon in human nature, but only a handful of people meet the diagnostic criteria for narcissistic personality.
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Narcissism can also cause self-injury. On the surface, patients with narcissistic personality disorder always consider their own material and psychological interests, but in fact, All his interests are compromised by his narcissism. First, narcissism is a symptom of addiction to praise. In order to obtain praise, narcissists will do whatever it takes. For example, some people risk their lives to gain the reputation of "no one in the world knows you". This is the opposite of narcissism - self-destruction and self-abuse.
Second, narcissism is an irrational force. The narcissist himself cannot control it, so he will never be able to gain inner peace. He will always be whipped by an invisible whip. He only knows how to run forward, but not A realistic goal that can be felt and known. Third, a narcissist will also subconsciously understand that it is impossible to always obtain praise from others, so he will unconsciously limit his scope of activities to avoid any external factors that may hurt his narcissism. Fourth, in interactions with others, the narcissist will lose what he values most - praise from others - because of his selfish behavior, which is a devastating blow to him and can cause him to enter the pursuit of In a vicious cycle of praise - failure - more intense pursuit - greater failure. Narcissists are prone to depression, and here’s why. Narcissism in literature The petty bourgeois women (or intellectual women) in the 1980s had some narcissism, and their common idol was Sanmao. Sanmao has revealed her narcissism very early in her writing. Her articles often quote the legend about daffodils in ancient Greek mythology: The beautiful young man Essos was so beautiful that he fell in love with his own reflection in the water and looked at it every day to pity himself. So he jumped into the water and turned into a daffodil after death. This is the Narchisus complex in Western psychology and literary works. "The Sorrows of Young Werther" also depicts this complex of "Young Werther".
There are similar examples in Chinese literary works: During the Wanli period of the Ming Dynasty, there was a beautiful woman named Feng Xiaoqing. Pan Guangdan, the founder of Chinese sexual psychology, wrote a book "Feng Xiaoqing Examination". Mr. Pan studied her The poem reveals the inner secret of narcissism. Feng Xiaoqing looks at herself every day, feels ashamed and becomes thinner every day, and finally withers and dies. Xiaoqing is the concubine of a rich man named Feng in the south of the Yangtze River. She is extremely beautiful, fair-skinned, and thin, which is an ancient Chinese trait. The standard appearance of claustrophobic beauties, there are many such people in classical literature. Their backs and identities are often old maids, old aunts, etc. Their daily life is usually "ancient temples accompanied by beautiful women". Mr. Pan revealed the sexual psychology of a weak woman in feudal society, which was one of the anti-feudal and anti-ignorance slogans during the May Fourth Movement. But so far, we are still relatively backward in terms of sexual psychology. Therefore, there were many beauties like this on university campuses in the 1980s. At that time, one of my friends fell in love with a school beauty named Zhang. In the autumn of 1995, I When I met her in Beijing, she was still as sorry for herself as before. This guy was so sad for her that he still can't calm down. This type of beauties have something in common in appearance, and they also behave in the same way in spiritual love. For example, the beautiful lady Zhang will dress up carefully every time she meets my buddy. She often emphasizes herself in her words, and is full of understanding and understanding for him. Relief, for a normal woman, this is "a woman's appearance is to please herself", but this is not the case for Zhang Meili. She only does this to attract a man's love to praise and affirm herself. As a mirror of her narcissism, she only loves this "mirror", which is different from Platonic love, such as the relationship between the poet Tsvetaeva and Rilke and Pasternak. The spiritual love has become an eternal legend in the history of literature. In fact, there is nothing wrong with narcissistic tendencies. It can even be said to be beneficial. All people with rich and sensitive hearts have some. Narcissism also brings a high degree of self-confidence or low self-esteem. Here, self-confidence and low self-esteem are like a piece of paper. The positive and negative sides of can be transformed into each other. Narcissism can sometimes manifest itself in unreasonable and even uncomfortable ways. For example, narcissists often care too much about their own health and always suspect that they are suffering from some kind of disease that cannot be detected by any instrument. Even if they think this suspicion is absurd, they cannot get rid of their doubts and are in constant panic all day long.
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