When people want to improve the quality of sex, they think of sex techniques, movements, atmosphere, love words, etc., but rarely think of "sexual fantasies." But in fact, sexual fantasy is one of the effective means of sexual communication between couples, and it is also a normal phenomenon. Moderate sexual fantasies can improve the quality of sex life and make orgasm easier. The editor below will lead you to understand sexual fantasies.

Everyone has sexual fantasies

Sexual fantasies are the most common sexual phenomena in the world. Every sane person has sexual fantasies of one kind or another. It's just that there are big differences in the frequency of occurrence, length, content, nature and attitude towards it. The content of sexual fantasies is diverse and all-encompassing. Research shows that the vividness of sexual fantasies is directly proportional to previous sexual experiences, imagination and the amount of media information received. Some people like to be bystanders in their sexual fantasies (like moviegoers), others prefer to be the protagonists in the plot, and still others like to play multiple guest roles. Sexual fantasies often occur during sexual activities, especially during the "trigger moment" (also known as the critical point) before orgasm. In addition, the free time after waking up and before going to bed, before and just after sexual activities are also the times when many people prefer sexual fantasies. Relevant survey results confirm that variations within a certain theme are relatively common, while "ever-changing" ones are relatively rare, because the latter require more imagination and creativity.

How sexual fantasies arise

Sexual fantasy is one of the products of cerebral cortex activity. It is between consciousness and subconsciousness. It is the spiritual satisfaction of hopes that cannot be realized temporarily in real life. It can strengthen physical stimulation, deepen sexual experience, and provide deeper sexual satisfaction. The organic combination of physical stimulation and sexual fantasy during sexual behavior often leads to a more passionate sexual experience, a fuller release of sexual tension in the body, and promotes the arrival of orgasm. For those with functional orgasmic disorder (especially female patients), situational orgasmic disorder, and couples who find their sexual life monotonous, sexual fantasies have positive therapeutic implications and can make sexual life more satisfying. For couples who are already very harmonious in their sexual life, sexual fantasy is a wonderful halo in the real world, with the color of the ideal world, which will make their sexual life even better.

Interpreting a man’s virginity complex

Virgin complex is a very familiar word to the male compatriots of China Everbright. No matter how open society becomes, men still care about whether their women are virgins. As we often hear: "Men always long to be a woman's first man, while women hope to be a man's last woman." This statement reflects the ideals of love between men and women in a sense. difference.

It is true that men do desire to be a woman’s first man. And this is what we often call the virgin complex. In the traditional wedding ceremony, the bride wears a flawless white wedding dress, which symbolizes that she dedicates her pure heart and body to her lover. This idea of ​​respecting virginity is deeply rooted in men and has been followed to this day.

Is a man's virginity complex just a matter of that membrane? A man demands that the other person be a virgin. Deep in this knot, in addition to hoping that the other person will not be touched by others, there is also an exclusive desire to mark the woman he likes as his own. Specifically, he secretly held the expectation in his heart that by dating a virgin woman, he might be able to develop and shape her according to his own expectations. But looking at it from another perspective, transforming a woman according to one's own expectations or thinking that one can transform a woman as one wishes is undoubtedly an abnormal mentality of treating women as playthings. It may be too much to say that they are regarded as playthings, but at least it is a kind of male chauvinism that hopes to be in a dominant position.

This over-reverence and exaggeration of "virginity", including the idea that men can transform women as they please, only appeared in the Middle Ages with the establishment of the status of warriors. It was especially popular after the Kamakura period①. It can be said that it is completely the product of a male-centered society. Regarding this point, Akiko Yosano, a poet who participated in the women's liberation movement, once pointed out: "The respect for virginity is obviously imposed on women by men." She also concluded that the so-called chastity and virginity complex are only It's just a man's unilateral wish. Her point of view is obviously correct and there is no room for refutation. However, when we explore the inner world of men, we will find that the reason why they yearn for virgins is because there is a kind of uneasiness hidden in their hearts. I am worried that if the other person is not a virgin, that is, she has had sexual relations with other men, her sexual experience with her ex-boyfriend may become a habit and be deeply imprinted on her body.