Nowadays, getting married means finding a good time and auspicious days to have a wedding banquet, but you may not know that there are many things to pay attention to in traditional Chinese marriage customs. These customs such as choosing the wedding day, making wedding arrangements, and returning home in three days are not feudal superstition or red tape, but are closely related to sexual health. Sex cannot be avoided in marriage, but sex is the most taboo topic among Chinese people. Therefore, the wise ancestors came up with many seemingly elegant and scientific methods around sex. These methods have become something that everyone must abide by. customs.

When choosing the wedding day, you will definitely avoid the bride’s menstrual period

In the past, you had to choose an auspicious day for marriage, which was called "the wedding day" or "look at the date". Generally, the groom would find a local wedding date. A Feng Shui master can calculate the best auspicious date for marriage based on the zodiac signs and birth dates of both men and women. After the "happy day" is decided, the man will entrust the matchmaker to bring some gifts to the woman's home to "send the day".

If the woman’s family accepts this date, the happy day will be decided. If the woman's family returns the date, it means there is something wrong with the date and needs to be reset. So what exactly could be the problem?

It’s not that the day is unlucky, the main reason is that this day happens to coincide with a girl’s menstrual period, and sexual intercourse is not allowed during menstruation. At this time, the man's parents will bring gifts and ask the Feng Shui master again to help him live. The date chosen by the Feng Shui master this time will definitely be about 15 days later or earlier than last time.

Because people cannot ask straightforward questions about menstrual periods, which are extremely sensitive issues, so they use this "happy date" method to solve this difficult problem. The matchmaker will send a new happy day, and the mother's family will follow. However, we all know that the menstrual period is delayed or advanced by about 15 days, which happens to be the ovulation period of women. In the past, there were no good contraceptive measures, so it was not uncommon for newlyweds to get pregnant on their honeymoon.

Modern medicine has proven that newlyweds are not suitable to have children due to factors such as fatigue and drinking. Therefore, although the Feng Shui masters at that time knew how to choose a date, they did not know much about reproductive health.

There is another way to "pick wedding days", that is, the Feng Shui master selects two days at once, one in the first half of the month and one in the second half of the month, for the bride's mother to choose, also to avoid the bride's menstrual period.

Ambiguous sex education

People in the past were very conservative. Many newlyweds would blush after taking a sneak peek before getting married, and some even made a lifelong commitment based solely on the words of a matchmaker. It is very embarrassing for two people who have never met before to have skin-to-skin contact at night and have the most intimate contact. Therefore, the day before the bride's wedding, the mother should make a surprise attack to provide her daughter with sex education, so as not to frighten her daughter with real swords and guns.

There are special tools for sex education called "pressing box bottoms". Common people's homes mostly use porcelain cups and porcelain plates, while aristocratic homes often use ivory carvings with "yellow pictures" painted inside to give the bride a Basic mental preparation.

Having trouble in the bridal chamber is also a kind of sex education. As the saying goes: "A new daughter-in-law has no age for three days." After entering the bridal chamber, both men and women, old and young, can enter the room to "see the new daughter-in-law" and tease the bride, including meat and vegetarian dishes, deliberately turning the originally shy yellow flower girl into a bride. Become a generous and shrewish daughter-in-law.

What’s more important is that during the bridal chamber, everyone will ask the newlyweds to perform various intimate, hidden but very pointed actions to dispel the sense of strangeness and shyness between the bride and the groom, and prepare them for the wedding ceremony. Prepare for that exciting moment. This is "foreplay" that everyone participates in together. Having a wedding ceremony is actually a kind of ambiguous sexual education: things are just that, and situations are just that.

Let the bride "heal"

On the third day of the wedding, the bride's younger brother or elder brother will take her back and stay for three days (some local customs require that she stay for seven days) ), and then the groom will pick him up. This is called "returning to the door". The superficial meaning is that the bride has been with her parents since she was a child. After leaving home this time, she is afraid of missing her family, so she wants to go back to see her parents.

Actually, the reason behind the scenes is that at that time, the bride could not go out or take any steps forward, so she was basically a virgin. During the first night of virginity, the hymen is damaged and becomes quite painful. The bridegroom was in his prime, and he didn't know how to show mercy to the bride. The family was worried that the bride wouldn't be able to bear it, so they took the bride back for "healing" in the name of missing her parents.

When returning home, the married bride is often called aside by her sisters-in-law, whispering some secret words in the boudoir, asking whether the married life is harmonious and happy, and also teaching them some methods of married life and female hygiene. matter. In addition, in many places, there is a custom that newlyweds refrain from having sex when they return to their natal family. This is also for the purpose of protecting the bride and suspending sexual intercourse.

Nowadays, with the development of society, many traditional customs have disappeared, but no matter how the customs change, sexual health during the wedding is still very important. I hope everyone can laugh after reading this article and be inspired.