The Conflict between Contemporary Sexual Morality and Marriage

What kind of sexual morality is reasonable? There are two standards that have been recognized. That is, for society, sexual morality must be conducive to maintaining the stability of marriage and maintaining the integrity of the family as a social cell; for individuals, sexual morality must be conducive to people's natural and emotional needs. of satisfaction.

Chinese people’s current sexual morality is based on this standard. Its essence can be summarized as follows: Sexual behavior can only occur within the context of marriage. It is the most essential feature that distinguishes the relationship between husband and wife from any other interpersonal relationship. All sexual behavior outside of marriage is unreasonable. On the surface this principle of sexual morality seems to best preserve the sanctity of marriage.

So, although it is facing the increasing impact of "premarital sex" and "extramarital affairs", the theoretical circles have never doubted its rationality. People would rather attribute the crisis faced by modern marriages to the decline of sexual morality, but are unwilling to examine sexual morality itself. But reality often leaves us with the embarrassment that a person leads his marriage to crisis just because he adheres to sexual morality. This statement may make many moralists feel stunned. However, if the author objectively presents the denial of existing marriage contained in contemporary sexual morality in front of everyone, many people will not be surprised.

The following will show the conflict between contemporary sexual morality and marriage from five aspects.

1. Contemporary sexual morality has objectively reduced the value of marriage itself and weakened the social responsibilities of both spouses.

Sexual morality bases sexual behavior on the basis of marriage, and has two direct purposes: first, to grant couples the right to sexual behavior, so that couples can enjoy the fun of sex and thereby achieve further sublimation of love; second, to clarify The obligation of both husband and wife to procreate during sexual intercourse, in order to promote the reproduction of the human race itself. It should be said that the purpose pursued by sexual morality is beautiful, but unfortunately it also sets up obstacles for the realization of this purpose. Since sexual morality deprives unmarried men and women of their right to sexual intercourse, the sexual needs of young people are actually denied during the more than ten years from sexual maturity to marriage. Our morality often causes young people to divert their attention to work and study. Although this wish is good, it is difficult to realize it. Freud once said frankly: "Only a small number of people can, through sublimation, separate their sexual energy from sexual objects and invest in higher-level cultural activities." Nowadays, it is fashionable in society to affirm and advocate "moderate masturbation through the words of doctors" "Although it relieves the sexual tension of young people to a certain extent, it does not fundamentally eliminate the sexual repression of young people, and may also cause physical and psychological harm to young people.

After all, only sexual behavior between opposite sexes is behavior that is in line with human nature. It is precisely because the normal sexual needs of young people are greatly suppressed before marriage, so there will be a rebound in value when they get married. Many young men and women only regard marriage as a bridge to realize their sexual fantasies, and the sexual enjoyment of couples is exaggerated. For the whole and ultimate goal of marriage, the sacred marriage is thus reduced to the animalistic mating of a pair of horny young men and women. Because the couple only sees each other as a sexual partner and not as a life partner? #123; into your own life, in this way, tragedy will inevitably happen. When they got married and gave birth to a baby in a haphazard manner, they suddenly discovered that married life was not as romantic as they imagined. They needed to take responsibility for every aspect of family life, and they may not have the material foundation, nor the material foundation. Without psychological preparation, they are helpless in the siege of marriage and want to break free, but most people usually cannot break free because the seriousness of marriage requires that they must continue the relationship between husband and wife as long as possible. At this point, we can see that sexual morality makes sexual desire in marriage become fanatical by suppressing pre-marital sexual needs, thus weakening the social responsibilities of both parties to the marriage and ultimately leading to the misfortune of the marriage.

2. Contemporary sexual morality unconsciously agrees with the traditional concept of chastity, creating de facto inequality between men and women.

The traditional view of chastity has always been opposed by contemporary sexual morality, but this opposition has unfortunately become a mere formality. In essence, contemporary sexual morality does not have a realistic impact on the traditional concept of chastity. On the contrary, it unconsciously provides justification for the traditional concept of chastity. According to the requirements of contemporary sexual ethics, sexual behavior is only reasonable if it occurs between a man and a woman as a couple, and all sexual behavior before marriage is immoral. The logical conclusion drawn from this must be that only marriages between virgins and virgins are moral. In other words, only "chaste" marriages are moral marriages. Some people may think that the author has misinterpreted modern sexual morality, but unfortunately, the entire society has misinterpreted it just like me. What will be the fate of a bride if her groom discovers that she is not a virgin on her wedding night?

Our society only recognizes one solution - proving the bride's "innocence". The most ideal way is to go to an authoritative doctor and issue a certificate that "strength exercise caused the rupture of the hymen." In this way, the society will be happy for the bride and the groom can tolerate it. If the bride admits that she has been "raped", the society can still express sympathy, but the groom will no longer be tolerant; if the bride is confirmed to have voluntarily had an affair with someone else, she will definitely be beaten. The society will unanimously denounce it as deserved, and the rest of the bride will probably only have the qualifications to be a prostitute. This is the modern view of chastity created by our sexual morality. The inhumanity in it always reminds people of the cruel feudal ethics. In order to prevent the issue of chastity from affecting their marriage, using "artificial hymen" to disguise their chastity has become a last resort choice for many girls who have lost their virginity. Sexual morality in turn creates people's hypocrisy.

Originally, marriage is reasonable as long as it is based on love. As for whether the couple is a virgin or a virgin, it has nothing to do with the nature of the marriage. Therefore, no husband has the right to ask whether his wife is a virgin. Society We should not be given the right to be a husband. If a man divorces his wife just because she is not a virgin, it means that he is not worthy of this woman at all, because he regards a woman's physical injuries as more important than the entire love. Since "chastity" has always been meaningful only to women and has no restrictions on men, it will inevitably cause injustice to women objectively. The concept of chastity derived from contemporary sexual morality has caused, and will continue to cause, the destruction of many beautiful marriages.