It is not difficult to get married, but it is difficult to manage a good married life. American family therapists have jointly summarized 6 common mistakes in marital life and given relevant guidance.

6 Common Mistakes in Marriage: Be Cautious

Eager to please. It is a big mistake to accommodate the other party too much and give up your own ideas, work and even life easily. Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist in Denver, USA, said: “In marriage counseling, I have met many women who worry that insisting on their own opinions will lead to quarrels or unhappiness. In order to maintain their marriage, they put their own ideas and pursuits into practice. Keep it to the minimum. In such a marriage, the relationship between the two parties is not equal, and problems may arise in the long run." In this regard, Dr. Heitler gave her advice: the wife should express her concerns rationally, no matter what the relationship is. Regarding housework, I still feel like I don’t spend enough time with my husband, or I don’t have enough time for myself. Heitler believes that no matter what you do, you should do it to make two people happy, not to please one person alone.

Unclear expectations for marriage. Dr. Eli Kalam, a marriage and family therapist, said that couples who work well together usually clarify their expectations for married life at the beginning of their marriage, such as how to divide housework, have children, and how to manage finances. But many couples never communicate in these aspects before marriage. If the expectations of the two people are different, resentment can easily arise. For example, Dr. Kalam said that many couples divorce within one or two years after the birth of a child because they cannot face and handle the changes brought about by the child well.

Speak with emotion. When a couple talks, if one party is emotional, it can easily amplify the problem. Dr. Heitler said that if you have an opinion or concern, say it in a respectful manner rather than in a frustrated or angry tone. We must strive to communicate effectively with our significant other, but we must do so with the purpose of finding solutions or workarounds, and never just to vent our grievances, as this will only make a peaceful solution less likely.

One is nagging and the other is silent. Some wives will repeat their complaints or concerns about their husbands several times, hoping to attract his attention. Men usually think of this as nagging. It is easy to form a vicious cycle - one party wants to talk, the other party remains silent, so the speaker keeps talking and continues to exert pressure. Karam suggested that if this happens often between couples, one partner should stop talking about the same thing over and over again and give the other person time to think about the meaning of the words. In addition, it is important to admit that some things cannot be changed in married life, such as "you cannot turn a cautious person into a risk-taker, or an introvert into an extrovert."

Put sex on the back burner. Sex is the "glue" that brings couples closer and enhances their relationship. Due to fatigue or other reasons, many couples gradually put sex at the back of their schedule, or simply become "sexless couples." Heitler and Karam believe that this is a very serious mistake. Sex plays a supreme role in marriage. They need alone intimate time every week and are full of expectations for sex.

Neglect to cherish each other. When you are in love, your lover may feel distressed if the other person has a cold or a fever, or even misses a meal. But after getting married, both parties put more energy and attention on housework, work, and children, thereby reducing the care and cherishment of their partners. In fact, some small acts of caring, such as smiling, eye contact, hugging, caressing, etc., will greatly strengthen the marital relationship.

Couples should pay attention to these details during sexual intercourse

A pleasant conversation before sex

A woman's feelings during intercourse are very important. When she feels happy, she will be more likely to engage in sexual life. In other words, having a pleasant conversation is what arouses her most. Before sex, women like to chat with men about their lives and thoughts. They want couples to relax and talk on the sofa, or chat while taking a walk. At this time, if the man can say some love words such as "I love you" and "I care about you very much", the woman will have a strong sexual desire.

Flirting outside the bedroom

In a woman's world, sex and life are inseparable. How her lover treats her outside the bedroom is directly related to how she behaves in bed. Even when there is no sex, you can still flirt with her and talk about love, which will make him get involved in sex faster. On the contrary, if you don't care about her outside the bed, speak harshly, and have a rude tone, etc., it will make her unable to engage in sex and become less enthusiastic.

Romantic foreplay

The issue of foreplay is a cliché, but it is also one of the most effective ways for women to increase their fun. Women love physical contact and caressing, and sometimes it has nothing to do with sex. So when you are in love, it is natural to give her romantic foreplay. Hugging, holding hands and kissing will make them happy. Many women complain that men rarely engage in such intimate behavior with them except foreplay. Therefore, hug and kiss her often and she will feel happy. Through enough hugging, kissing, and caressing, a woman's sexual desire can be aroused, so that she can quickly integrate into the atmosphere of sexual intercourse and enjoy the happiness and joy that follows.

Naughty behavior

Men's naughty behavior during intercourse can also help women's sexual intercourse. Please remember: sexual intercourse is not a serious matter, please treat it as a "game". If a man acts too seriously during sex and does not even smile, sex often becomes stressful and lifeless, and neither man nor woman can experience the joy of sex.

Tenderness after intercourse

Women's sex does not end with orgasm. The aftertaste after orgasm can give women a sense of satisfaction. After orgasm, she wanted to be more gentle. Therefore, men remember to give her the necessary tenderness after sex. An intimate kiss, a few tender words, or holding her to sleep can make women more satisfied. Jiujiu Health Network wishes you good health.