Many people believe that both lovers and married couples should prevent domestic violence. Domestic violence is divided into two categories: physical violence and mental violence. Physical violence is easy to understand, including beating, roughing, and injuring the other party; while psychological violence includes mental abuse (restriction of personal freedom and economic control), sexual abuse, and cold violence. However, domestic cold violence is also one of the important factors that lead to the deterioration of relationships. 1. Common characteristics include:

(1)Indifference

(2) Reduce language communication to a minimum

(3) Slander and cynicism

(4) Stop or perfunctory sex life

(5) Completely irresponsible for household affairs

Since cold violence neither sees blood nor injuries and is a typical form of hidden violence, it is easy for the parties involved to pass it off by saying "we are having trouble", while ignoring the huge harm it causes to one's own body and mind.

In fact, research shows that in a troubled marriage, silence is more harmful to the marriage than loud noises, and is more likely to lead to the breakdown of the marriage.

Sounds weird, right? This is because although it is irrational to argue, at least there is a willingness to communicate and express dissatisfaction with each other, and it is easier to know each other's thoughts and feelings. And if you are indifferent and silent, not only can you not find the crux of the problem, but it often reflects your determination to be discouraged and unwilling to work hard. Therefore, the result of treating each other like ice often leads to an affair. There is no greater sorrow than the death of the heart. If the heart is dead, the marriage will naturally be unable to survive.

Being exposed to a cold atmosphere of domestic cold violence for a long time can easily lead to emotional fragility, low self-esteem, suspicion, and loneliness. Children can also easily develop a withdrawn personality, which will greatly affect their future interpersonal relationships. Because the body is under strong mental stress for a long time, it is prone to many annoying psychosomatic symptoms (such as stomach pain, back pain, headaches and insomnia, etc.), which can even lead to more serious illnesses and self-harm (suicide).

2. It is worth mentioning that compared to physical violence, cold violence mostly occurs in intellectual families. The reason is:

(1) The action of punching and kicking was considered by the person involved to be inconsistent with his status as a highly educated person.

(2) Scholars are often bound by etiquette and are not good at expressing their emotions in words, and they do not know how to vent their dissatisfaction.

(3) The more educated you are, the more delicate your emotional requirements are, and you know that cold violence can cause more mental harm to the other person.

(4) They know how to protect themselves legally, so they don’t use their hands or words.

Therefore, the "cold war" situation that easily occurs during a quarrel is actually worthy of our attention and handling, because an inadvertent "temporarily ignored" cold war will turn into a "deliberate harm" cold war.

3. How to prevent and resolve domestic cold violence?

(1) Understand that both parties are hurt, and have the courage to be the hero in the relationship: The reason why many people would rather spend a cold war is because they feel that the other party has hurt people too deeply and is not worthy of forgiveness. In fact, the starting point of a cold war is often when you are hurt and unable to express yourself. For example, a husband's self-esteem was hurt by some words and deeds of his wife, but he repeatedly failed to express his feelings, so he became angry and started a cold war. If the wife can understand that her husband is also a victim, she will be more emotionally motivated to take responsibility for breaking the deadlock.

(2) Use other means of communication to resolve the Cold War deadlock as soon as possible. As soon as a silent cold war occurs, you should be vigilant and use other methods (text messages or emails, etc.) to express your apology and resolve the deadlock.

(3) After the Cold War, start by discussing some less sensitive matters for both parties (talking about current affairs, gossip, etc.), and then communicate sincerely when the time is right.

(4) When you speak, express feelings instead of accusations. Instead of saying: "What you did is so disgusting," say: "Our Cold War makes me feel uneasy..."

In domestic cold violence, both parties are actually victims. Only by removing the cold distance between each other can we find happiness and passion.