With a burst of fragrance, a beautiful woman holding flowers appeared in front of me. She came to Beijing from other places to see my sexual health clinic because of a matter that had been bothering her for a long time. The wedding day is approaching, but the result of the pre-marriage trial makes her worried. Whether she is having sex with her ex-boyfriend or her current boyfriend, she goes from cooperating to reluctantly cooperating to trying to avoid and shirk it. It’s not that she can’t reach climax during sex. The problem is that she has never had sexual desire naturally. There is no active urge to have sex with her boyfriend. In her memory, the numbing feeling between her legs when she read an ambiguous plot in a romance novel in junior high school was the only spontaneous sexual excitement she felt. The only sex dreams she remembered were of female nudity, and of herself and her current boyfriend naked together. She had never masturbated, never touched or kissed the naked body of an adult woman, and even the thought of it felt sinful. Through detailed consultation and relevant sex knowledge education, she understood the concept of sexual orientation axis, how women can explore their sexual feelings on their own, that it is not shameful to respect one's own sexual orientation and sexual needs, and that sexual organs and other parts of the human body Organs also need care and health care. No matter what lifestyle she chooses, at least she is no longer ignorant when making decisions. In today's China, it is remarkable that people can make informed choices when it comes to sexual issues. This is a classic case of female "sexual frigidity". What revelations does it bring to us?

First of all, sexual desire is the basic need of an individual. Adult women who are born with low sexual desire are very rare and are usually covered by "clouds". Because women have not had the right to actively express their sexuality for a long time, women who like sexual feelings are regarded as dirty and shameless women. Therefore, the shame of sexual impulses makes women avoid any situations that can arouse their sexual desire and refuse to allow themselves to have sex occasionally. Amplification of excitement, opposition to masturbation, resistance to sexual fantasies, etc. This is true for heterosexual women, but homosexual women will think that they are heinous and will be kept in the dark. Usually, the situations that make heterosexual women excited will not make gay women have the same sexual impulses. Even if there are situations where gay women have sexual impulses, such as naked women in dreams, being touched by female classmates, and liking to look at women. Body, etc., they usually immediately isolate this feeling, deny its existence, and forcefully suppress its needs. The result of this psychological defense is that they will assume that they have no sexual desire.

Secondly, sexual orientation is a woman’s first task in self-exploration. Sexual orientation is not about feelings or behavior, but about the body of the gender that an individual is attracted to, resulting in sexual impulses. Women must face their naked sexual urges to know what they really want. You must fully experience friendship, love and sex before you can understand the taste. Therefore, same-sex and opposite-sex interactions during adolescence are an indispensable and important part of individual growth. Avoiding, blocking, and suppressing can only delay the outbreak of problems.

Thirdly, women can best protect themselves sexually only if they have a good understanding of their own sexuality. Sexual self-protection is not only about protecting oneself from sexual assault, but more importantly, protecting oneself from unequal, unpleasant, and unsafe sexual treatment. If women are unsure about their sexual orientation, how do they find an intimate partner? If a woman doesn’t know her own sexual preferences, how can she expect others to give her a sexual feast?

Finally, women who understand sexual equality in their bones are truly independent and charming women. In the gender world, women are improving rapidly in terms of economic and social status, but it is difficult to improve their sexual status. Women's sexual pleasure is not a reward from men. Women's sexual desire for men must be equally expressed and respected. Women must understand that love without sexual pleasure is not holy but defective, and sexual stimulation without love is not dirty but meets needs.