Children generally do not sleep in separate rooms with their parents until they are five or six years old, and it is common for children to sleep in the same bed. Couples have to wait until their children are asleep before they can enjoy sex, but even if they avoid it, there will still be the embarrassment of being caught inadvertently. What should parents do if their children catch them having sex? The following is a case study to give parents some suggestions, which not only resolves embarrassment, but also provides good sex education:

A friend asked for help: When the couple were having sex, their four-year-old child suddenly got up from his crib and ran over to ask if you were fighting? Why does dad bully mom? The couple was very embarrassed and didn't know how to answer. The husband was so anxious that he scolded the child and told him to get out quickly. The child was so frightened that he cried loudly. For several days, the child stayed far away from his father. Even if his father bought him his favorite food and favorite toys, he would not want them. My friend is very afraid that this incident will leave a psychological shadow on the child and does not know how to remedy it.

When a child accidentally catches his or her parents having sex, this is a good time to communicate with the child about their sexual experiences. Call couples’ lovemaking a movement of love, and tell your children that every child is born in this movement of love from their parents. This kind of thing is a very private thing. It belongs to the sweetest time between the couple. They cannot see anyone else, including children. Mom and dad wait for you to fall asleep or think you don’t know before they have sex behind your back. You did sleep soundly before, or you were playing at your grandparents' place, so you didn't know. If you are at home, every time your parents perform loving exercises at night, they are very careful not to wake you up. I didn’t expect you to wake up and see this time. Dad is very shy and doesn't know what to do, so he gets angry at you. Baby, I'm actually very embarrassed too.

When a child bumps into his parents having sex, the pressure on the parents is actually greater than on the children. Explaining clearly to the children can not only eliminate the children's doubts, but also eliminate their own pressure. Therefore, when encountering this situation, parents should do this:

1. Maintain a calm and calm attitude. After both of you have experienced a few seconds of shock, you must maintain a calm and calm attitude and do not panic. For children aged 3 to 6 years old, what makes them sensitive may not be what their parents do, but their parents' attitude towards this matter. If a parent behaves excessively or is extremely shy or embarrassed after being caught, or reprimands the child loudly, This will cause greater confusion and embarrassment for the child.

2. Answer children’s questions realistically. When the child starts to ask: "What are you doing?" Don't be perfunctory at this time. You can easily tell him that this is a way for parents to express their love. Both of you like to play this game, but this is only for after marriage. Games that can be made. If a child asks if his father is bullying his mother, the mother can explain that this is not bullying, and that the mother also likes to do this and is happy to do so. Let the children know that it seems like two people are fighting, but this is actually a very beautiful feeling.

In daily education, children should also learn to respect their parents' private space, not enter their parents' room without permission, and protect their private life from interference by children. Of course, this kind of respect is also mutual, and you should usually get the child's permission before entering the child's room.

3. Let the child speak it out as quickly as possible. Through conversation, help the child tell what he/she sees, explain to him/her, and let the child correctly realize: "We make love because we love each other. The love between parents is different from their love for their children. It is the way of love between lovers. It is this way of love that you were born.

The most important thing is not to be too close in front of children. Many parents think that "if the child is asleep, he can't see or hear; if the child is still young, he doesn't understand anything." In fact, this idea is wrong. According to a research report, children of different ages have different mentality and reactions when they inadvertently witness adult sexual intercourse:

1. Children aged 3 to 4 years old will think that their father is violent towards their mother, and they will feel fear. The mother's cries will be considered as cries of pain by the children, and the "violent" scenes of naked parents "struggle" will make the children frightened and uneasy. They will worry about whether such violence will happen to them, and whether such horrific incidents will happen again.

2. Children aged 5 to 6 or slightly older will imitate sex and play sex games beyond their age. They accidentally witnessed adult sexual intercourse. Although they did not understand the reason and the secrets, they were a little curious and amused. I'm curious, I want to find out, I want to imitate.

3. Children aged 10 to 12 often compare certain sex movements with the rape movements of certain sex criminals in movies and television, as well as social customs and opinions, and make their own opinions. They confuse lovemaking in a legal married life with sexual violence committed by illegal gangsters. They believe that their father "bullied" their mother; their brother-in-law "ravaged" their sister...

Therefore, parents can express love in front of their children, but not sex. When couples have sex, they should leave the room with children. This will help maintain parent-child boundaries and respect the children.