On the surface, it seems that wives are just passive recipients in sexual life. Many people even think that women have no sexual concepts at all. As a result, such sexual misunderstandings are often hidden and unnoticed, but in fact they are quietly eroding the lives of couples.

Secondly, because women’s sexual responses and behavior patterns are rich and diverse, and there are large differences between individuals, misunderstandings about sexual concepts are often covered up.

Since women generally tend to combine sex life, love and marriage quality closely together, wives tend to consider more factors of love and marriage when evaluating sex life, but ignore or deny sex. The role of ideas. There are three main misunderstandings about sex that are common among women.

1. Treating sexual life as a simple "devotion"

This first manifests in a lack of adequate knowledge and understanding of one's own physiological structure, sexual functions and sexual responses. With the popularization of family planning and women's health care, wives' knowledge about contraception, pregnancy and women's diseases has increased a lot compared with the past. However, due to limitations of traditions and customs, more than half of wives still do not know what the most sensitive sexual parts of women are. , 40% of wives don’t know or can’t explain what the female orgasm is like.

Is this because sexual knowledge is difficult to obtain? I'm afraid not. There are more than 200 publicly published sexology books in our country, and almost every one of them talks about these common senses to a greater or lesser extent. However, there are very few female readers, even fewer female buyers, and very few female disseminators of such knowledge.

Why don’t you learn when you feel the need? One of the main reasons is that many wives feel that since their husband dominates their sexual life, he should learn sexual knowledge, be responsible for the harmony of sexual life, or even just work hard to satisfy themselves. After all, wives often "follow the chicken when they marry a chicken, and follow a dog when they marry a dog" in their sexual life. Now that I have fulfilled my obligation of "dedication", he should take on the responsibility of promoting harmony.

This kind of simple "dedication" sexual concept will bring several undesirable consequences:

l. When encountering rough or even sexual abuse by her husband, the wife lacks both the inner motivation to resist and the lack of motivation to resist. knowledge and methods to promote change.

2. When there is general disharmony in sexual life, the wife tends to blame her husband too much, which in turn aggravates the conflict. Among husbands who suspect premature ejaculation, quite a few are actually caused or aggravated by their wives’ blaming.

3. Even if the sex life goes well, it is difficult for a wife who is simply "dedicated" to experience its fun and value. Instead, it will lead to indifference and alienation, which will naturally aggravate the poverty of feelings and eventually form a vicious circle.

4. Even if the relationship is relatively coordinated, the wife may lack the internal motivation to continuously improve and improve. In the long run, it is easy to cause psychological fatigue (boredom, lack of desire, avoidance, etc.) for both parties.

2. Paying too much attention to one's "image" in sexual life

The most common thing is that the wife unconsciously shows "decent" or "presentable". Many wives love their husbands very much, but in their sexual life they are afraid that they will be "disgraced" and that their husbands will look down upon or doubt them. They cannot imagine what a good wife "should" be like at this time, so they have to blindly suppress themselves. As a result, both her husband and herself mistakenly thought that sex life was "just like that, not interesting." As time went by, both parties became really indifferent.

There are also many wives who feel ashamed or shy about their spontaneous sexual requests. They always feel that they are "cheap" or "slutty" for asking for sex, or even feel "like a prostitute" for doing so.

In the early stages of marriage, this does not seem to be a problem since the husband is generally more sexually demanding than the wife. However, as sexual life becomes more normal, many couples will encounter situations where the timing and frequency of sexual requirements of both parties are "unlucky". At this time, if the wife pays too much attention to "image", not only will she not be able to get the satisfaction she deserves, but she will also be unable to communicate the couple's thoughts in this regard and scientifically correct the "sexual mistakes" that may occur to both parties. As a result, they all complained about each other in their hearts, and the problem only became bigger and bigger.

There are also quite a few wives who always unconsciously care about whether they are "normal", especially when it comes to specific behaviors. On the surface, some people are afraid of being "unhygienic", some are wondering "Are everyone else like this", and some just think it's "unreasonable", all of which seem reasonable.

But in fact, they don’t really understand what the hygiene standards are, let alone what others are doing. In particular, the more people pay attention to "normality", the more unclear they are about what the scientific standards and basis of "normality" are. Except for a very small number of husbands who are indeed mentally ill, the vast majority of wives who have such concerns are actually out of fear of being "irregular."

If you care too much about your own image, you will easily deny yourself and blame the other party. In addition, there is another most direct and common adverse consequence - distracting oneself, putting oneself in the position of a bystander, and deliberately and reluctantly doing something that one thinks should be done. . As a result, not only was she unable to feel the love between her and her husband, but it also objectively caused inhibition and disappointment to the other party.

3. Have high expectations for the role of sexual life

The first aspect is that some wives do not understand men’s sexual life and sexual psychology characteristics, and mistakenly believe that men can do anything at any time. , must be proactive and urgent under any circumstances. Therefore, when the other person is physically and mentally tired, or when you do not provide enough visual and psychological stimulation, you may feel that your husband does not want to have sex because he is not considerate of you, your love is diluted, or he is even "having extraneous intentions." This situation is more common among couples who are nearly middle-aged and in families where the husband is a cadre or intellectual worker.

The second aspect is that some wives have extremely high needs for emotional communication during sex, but are afraid or not good at expressing and communicating. As a result, they have unspeakable troubles, and their husbands are confused. In turn, the wife feels that her husband is not gentle and considerate and does not understand her heart.

Another aspect is that some wives are not good at distinguishing sex life from daily life in marriage and do not understand the difference between the two. When the husband performs well in sex life, the wife mistakenly believes that he must be a model husband in all aspects of daily life. If there is a slight difference, the wife will complain: "Where did your tenderness and sweetness in bed go?" They may even doubt: "So your love is just for that thing!"

Furthermore, a few women use sexual intercourse to punish their husbands for their mistakes. Some wives are too obsessed with romantic pure love and always feel that sex life after marriage is detrimental to it.

All of the above seem to be specific problems with causes, but in fact, women still have problems with their sexual concepts.

It should also be noted that a harmonious and happy sexual life can only play a good role in the sexual physiology and psychology of both parties. Love is the sublimation of emotions between opposite sexes, and marriage is a contract for men and women to live together.