Every day in the news, from the entertainment, cultural and sports circles, there are reports of divorces due to the involvement of "mistresses". The super lethality of the "third party" has also put many unresolved relationships in jeopardy.

People in love cannot hold a grain of sand in their eyes, and naturally they cannot tolerate the hidden "third party". So take a step back and say: What about friends of the opposite sex? Discussions on this topic have never stopped on the emotional pages of major websites. Posts like "Should I let my boyfriend break up with friends of the opposite sex?" have received many responses. Friendship and love are not originally in conflict, but once they are mixed with heterosexual relationships, the two will end up either you or me. Lover & opposite-sex friend, can only keep one? Jealousy is just jealousy. People who have handled the marriage relationship well will jump out of this two-choice tip and answer you: Both parties must have a relationship with the opposite sex.

Worry: Friendship upgrades are unpredictable

Ms. L found her lover through a dating agency. Her boyfriend doesn’t have many same-sex friends, but he has a good relationship with the opposite sex. Ms. L is worried that he will change his mind, and her boyfriend thinks she is interfering. In his life, the two often quarreled over this issue. The two are dating, but have not yet reached the point of discussing marriage. This awkward status is most sensitive during the transition period. Ms. L feels that the relationship between men and women is now more open, and the "pure friendship" between men and women will be upgraded one day. As a man who publicly has a girlfriend, he should keep a certain distance from the opposite sex; if he still remains the same, it proves that he has not made up his mind yet. Make up your mind to start a family.

And the party being suspected often makes a reasonable statement: You have to believe me, I can handle it well! But in private discussions, there are many people who are wavering. Mr. Xiao, who works in insurance sales, is still a little scared. Many of his customers are women, and he gets along well with one or two of them, and he would go out to have dinner and sing karaoke after work. Once, Miss S, a customer and friend, was out of love and asked him out to drink heavily. It happened that Mr. Xiao had a fight with his girlfriend who was about to get married, and the two of them were drunk. No one knows what happened that night unless the person involved says it. In fact, neither of them went home that night. Netizen "Tiigaoyundan" said on the forum: "Hongyan and Lanyan, originally wanted to have a place to warm their souls, but accidentally they became mutual body warmth, which is difficult to grasp." Another netizen "Sacrifice di "Bottom line" believes: Times are different now. Sooner or later, some kind of impulse will occur, and all three people will be hurt.

Contradiction: Be strict with others and be lenient with yourself

Another way to discuss: "Do you think there is a purely friendship relationship between men and women?" 138 people participated in the vote on a certain forum. 51.4% thought there was some kind of relationship and 48.5% thought there was no such thing. The votes were evenly matched. See It turns out that everyone is in a tangled state of mind. From the comments after voting, we can see another clue: usually people who have a purely friendship relationship are thinking from their own perspective; while people who vote "no" are thinking of the other party.

Experts believe that this kind of "double standard" of being stricter than the other person and more lenient than oneself will cause trouble in future marriages and must make people vigilant. Recently, the Guangzhou Youth League School released a five-month survey report on the current situation of youth in Guangzhou. The survey shows that young people in Guangzhou have obviously different requirements for themselves and their spouses. The same is true for extramarital affairs. When it happens to the other party, 36.09% of people think that they should divorce, but when it happens to themselves, only 2.42% of people think that they should get divorced.

Countermeasures: Instead of resisting, it is better to understand

People who are passionately in love often ask each other to break up with friends of the opposite sex to avoid future troubles. Is this actually necessary? Everyone has their own space. The key is to master the "degree" of getting along with friends of the opposite sex. However, it turns out that this "degree" cannot be controlled by unilateral efforts.

Ms. Chen, who has been dating her boyfriend for five years and got married this year, had many friends of the opposite sex among the guests at the banquet. Ms. Chen puts a lot of thought into dealing with relationships with opposite-sex friends. When I first met my boyfriend, I was jealous because of his good relationship with the opposite sex. Instead, she was reminded by her male friends: "If all his friends are men, then you have to wonder if he is gay." Ms. Chen slowly felt relieved. If it were her, she wouldn't have two or three close friends. Friends of the opposite sex? Why can I accept that I have it, but I can’t accept that my boyfriend has it? After the two reconciled, Ms. Chen spent more time attending her boyfriend's friends' gatherings and getting acquainted with her boyfriend's circle of friends. Her idea is that instead of resisting and making both of them unhappy, it is better to open up and understand his circle, so that she can calm down. Of course, while she was getting acquainted with her boyfriend's friends, she was also thinking about her own little calculation: if there was any trouble, she would have many "clues". Even if a slap in the face doesn't make a difference, the person being accused must also show some performance to give his lover confidence: an obvious show of affection towards the opposite sex should not be vague or ambiguous, and resolutely state that he is "a master", which is actually a confidence in his lover. Guarantee; being secretive can easily cause unnecessary suspicion.

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