Premarital sex is a relatively broad concept. Sexual science research divides human sexual behavior into three types according to the classification standards of sexual desire satisfaction: first, core sexual behavior, that is, bisexual sexual behavior; second, marginal sexual behavior, such as kissing, hugging, caressing, etc.; quasi-sexual behavior. The premarital sex referred to in this article belongs to the first category, which refers to the sexual intercourse between a man and a woman during their relationship. Premarital sex is a relatively broad concept. Sexual science research divides human sexual behavior into three types according to the classification standards of sexual desire satisfaction: first, core sexual behavior, that is, bisexual sexual behavior; second, marginal sexual behavior, such as kissing, hugging, caressing, etc.; quasi-sexual behavior. The premarital sex referred to in this article belongs to the first category, which refers to the sexual intercourse that occurs between a man and a woman during a relationship. It is characterized by the fact that both parties do it voluntarily, and there is no violent coercion; there is no legal guarantee, and there is no righteousness between husband and wife

Duties and responsibilities; prone to some disputes and serious consequences. In our country, premarital sex is opposed by public opinion and morality, is not allowed, and is “a sexual sin.” A large amount of data shows that the initiators of premarital sex are mostly men, but the direct victims are women. Since this behavior is performed voluntarily by both men and women, each has certain psychological motivations. In order to safeguard women's interests and promote the harmony of marriage and the development of social civilization, this article only analyzes the psychological motivations of women's premarital sex and the serious consequences of premarital sex to guide women in the love process. We must love each other rationally and get out of this love misunderstanding as soon as possible.

According to the analysis of a large amount of survey data in recent years, women have many extreme concepts and ideas in terms of psychological motivations for premarital sex. From the perspective of sexual psychology and sociology, these are summarized into the following 10 misunderstandings:

1. Pursue the so-called "new" way of love

Chinese society in the 1990s has entered a high-level, fast-paced, and multi-color period. Lifestyles are changing, and so are the ways of love. Some young people mistakenly believe that the way to change love in the 1990s was to have sex at every turn. Some young women said: "Conventional love is incomplete. Real love should reflect broadness. Since I love him, I can give him anything." "Love should give the loved one freedom, why wait until marriage. "We're already in the 1990s, and it's boring to be sentimental. I want to be ahead of history," etc. Under the control of the trendy mentality, they quickly moved from first love to passionate love, and from marginal sexual behavior to core sexual behavior. Fascinating hugs, kisses, and caresses arouse strong impulses of sexual physiological instincts, making it difficult for reason to resist. A survey found that 44.67% of women had had multiple sexual relations within six months, 50.33% of them expressed willingness, and 80.33% believed it was a personal matter. According to my country's sexual ethics, the most intimate form of sexual behavior between men and women during love can only be kissing, snuggling, and caressing. Sexual intercourse can only occur under the condition that the marriage relationship is protected by law. Random "fashionable" behavior is a sign of a lack of responsibility.

2. Advocating various concepts of sexual freedom

In recent years, with the influx of Western cultural trends and the occasional proliferation of sexual culture in our country, traditional sexual morality with deep cultural accumulation has been impacted. Some young people blindly admire Western concepts of sexual freedom and have a strong sense of self-consciousness about breaking through the so-called traditional sexual moral concepts. Some young women said: "We are facing the impact of the tide from all directions, and even the most rational women will feel confused -" The moral music box has soothed the contradictory and painful souls and bodies of some young people today, and their sexual concepts have become primitive. Instinct needs are equated. Therefore, some young women think that "now that they are mature, satisfying their own desires is a physiological need." Some say: "As long as you love happily," others say: "What are you afraid of when you are pregnant? Sex

No sin," "A woman is not a complete woman unless she has an abortion. "In the survey, 32.67% of women believed that "chastity is not very important," and 19.7% did not care at all after sexual intercourse, saying "that's all," etc. Once the concept changes, the behavior will change accordingly. When their love was still at a stage where they didn't know how to navigate the boat of life rationally, they were overwhelmed by desire and had sexual intercourse that shouldn't have occurred prematurely. Some had sex with their boyfriends periodically, and some had sex with their boyfriends periodically. Although they had a premonition that the two would not eventually get married, the special relationship remained the same. The distorted sexual concept made the distorted sexual behavior out of control, resulting in "irresponsible consequences." ”

3. Satisfy the curiosity and exploration of "sex"

In today's cultural environment, sex has gradually torn away the veil of concealment. For some young women, it is no longer that they are "disloyal" and ashamed to talk about sex, but that talking about sexual desire is as easy and normal as talking about appetite. However, due to the fact that many books and periodicals focus on the introduction of sexual organs and sexual life content, there is a lack of education on sexual psychology and sexual ethics. In addition, there are an increase in sexual aesthetic scenes in movies and television, and the phenomenon of hugging and kissing on the road and street is often reflected. As you can see, this kind of cultural atmosphere deepens and actualizes the hazy awareness and curiosity about sex in girlhood. From the original ignorance of male sexual physiology, why two sexes are full of sweetness when they are alone together, and how to get pregnant after sexual intercourse. Things, etc., have developed to the point where we are no longer satisfied with what is introduced in books and periodicals and what we witness on the film and television screen, on the streets, in the entertainment industry, and under the moonlight. Instead, we have to try and explore for ourselves, so that during the period of love, we sometimes take the initiative to curiously Make or refuse a man's sexual request. The survey shows that 64.3% of women had sexual intercourse out of curiosity, only to regret it when they had to abort the pregnancy.

4. Be grateful for your boyfriend’s admiration and love for you

Although they also understand that women’s chastity is very important and should never be sacrificed easily, but under the constant agitation of their boyfriends’ admiration and love, they cannot hold on to their defense line. Some may have boyfriends who are more attentive to them and have greatly helped them in their study and life, or they may have made great sacrifices because their boyfriends have solved many difficulties for their relatives. I often feel uneasy and feel grateful to repay my gratitude. When a boyfriend makes a sexual request, he is worried that rejection will hurt his heart, so he takes satisfying his sexual request as a reward for his deep affection. This type of situation accounted for 18.3% in the survey.

5. Eliminate your boyfriend’s worries about his safety

Some women feel that their boyfriend meets their requirements for mate selection and is an ideal "beautiful man". They fall in love at first sight and have the feeling of "there is no such thing as this shop in this village", and they take the initiative in the love process. However, for some men, the more proactive the woman is, the more he thinks too highly of himself, and even feels worried about the woman, becomes overly cautious, and has an ambiguous attitude. In order to show their sincerity, some women hurriedly commit themselves to each other, and some, in order not to be abandoned by their men, also adopt this so-called "can tie up a man's heart" and "lock in love with sex" which is immature and unwise. A clumsy act.

6. Upgrade the love relationship

Many young women regard "sex" as a measure of love, believing that only sex can maintain and develop love. Some people believe that having sex before marriage is a procedural requirement of love and a necessary step. If it happens early, the relationship can be confirmed early, the love can be upgraded and deepened, and the cohesion of both parties can be strengthened. Under the control of this idea of ​​sexuality, they give all of themselves too quickly.

7. Maintain the engagement

A survey in Beijing showed that 90.7% of young men and women who had premarital sex were clearly engaged in a marriage relationship, but due to various reasons, such as lack of housing, financial difficulties, not working together, and not being able to meet the legal minimum Marriage age, etc., has been delayed in getting married. In order to maintain this engagement relationship, both parties often have sex.

8. Understand your boyfriend’s sexual function

Research points out that this type of motivation is more common among older, unmarried people. They deeply feel that it is difficult to choose a spouse, and they also hope to be happy after marriage, so they are cautious about marriage. They are willing to have sexual intercourse with their satisfied lovers before marriage to understand each other's sexual function.

9. Resist environmental resistance

This is the reverse effect in the psychological development of love. Young men and women in love, after some understanding and confirmation of a love relationship, always hope to get support and approval from people in the surrounding environment, especially parents, relatives and friends. However, if they encounter unexpected and violent interference, interference from others, strong opposition from parents, and obstruction by relatives and friends in every possible way, they not only do not terminate the love relationship, but become more enthusiastic and closer, resisting these resistances with the fait accompli of "raw rice, cooked rice" , promote the success of love.

10. In exchange for vanity

In today's society, with the continuous impact of the commodity economy, some young women have a strong sense of vanity and have developed a serious comparison mentality and the pursuit of high consumption. In order to pursue sexual pleasure and woo beautiful women, they do not hesitate to spend money like water. Therefore, in order to satisfy their own vanity, some women did not hesitate to exchange their bodies for property and quickly gave their female "first time". Others, under the temptation of money, continued to transfer their "love", resulting in "unclear origin". "Pregnancy.

The above are 10 misunderstandings about women's psychological motivations for premarital sex. They reflect that young women have great differences and one-sidedness in sexual cognition, sexual awareness, sexual concepts, and views on love. They should be concerned with education and society. attaches great importance to.

Premarital sex gives both men and women a certain degree of satisfaction in terms of sexual desire and other motivations, but people don’t know how to get lost in love, extreme joy brings sorrow, and misfortune arises from joy. Judging from the results of surveys of unmarried abortionists in some areas across the country in recent years, there is no doubt that premarital sex has adverse consequences for the parties involved, especially directly for the woman.

1. Brings great psychological pressure to the woman

The occurrence of premarital sex is sometimes initiated by the woman, and more often the man demands that the woman cater to or cannot resist it. However, the psychological state before and after is very different. It causes psychological pressure on the woman, such as fear, inferiority, Conflicts and so on ensue. The survey found that 27.3% of people were afraid of getting pregnant after having sex, 21.3% were very regretful, and 21% were afraid of damaging their reputation. When undergoing abortion, 48.4% were afraid of the pain of the operation, 17.3% were afraid to tell their parents, 13% did not care, 62.3% were afraid of sequelae after the operation, 20.7% were afraid that it would be difficult to find another partner after a breakup, and 17% did not care.

2. Serious impact on the woman’s health

If you want to conceive without wanting to have a baby, the remedy is abortion. For those who have sex before marriage, there are three adverse consequences of abortion: First, the body cannot recover normally. In order not to let others know, some young women do not rest after the operation but go to work or study immediately, which seriously affects the recovery of their health and even leads to heavy bleeding; secondly, it is easy to damage the reproductive organs and cause accidents. Some young people do not dare to go to the hospital for abortion, so they go to those quack doctors, who perform the surgery under extremely unscientific conditions, causing great damage to their genitals. Some even die, and some are humiliated by quack doctors with poor quality. Both physically and mentally were devastated; third, it caused many complications. Medical research and clinical data show that abortion can cause: scanty menstruation, amenorrhea, frigidity, infertility, and subsequent pregnancy can easily lead to miscarriage, endometriosis, inflammation of the reproductive organs, placenta previa, and placenta accreta. , uterine perforation, postpartum hemorrhage, and even cervical cancer.

3. The development trend of the love relationship is not conducive to the woman

When premarital sex has not occurred, both parties in love are in a relationship of mutual equality and free choice. But after it occurs, the situation is different: First, the attraction between the two parties gradually weakens than in the past. I originally thought that the relationship between the sexes was very mysterious, but now it has become "just like that". The brilliance and charm of the past are no longer eye-catching and full of strength; secondly, the woman's chances of making another choice have diminished. It turns out that the man is very accommodating to the woman. After the woman committed herself to him, he thought that "she can no longer live without me" and "I am the only one who belongs to me", so he began to treat the woman casually and dominate her at will. On the contrary, because the woman has given her virginity to him and "is already his", but she is also worried that the man will change his original intention and is afraid of being abandoned, so she repeatedly accommodates and tolerates the man, even if she finds that he has major shortcomings, which can be done. At this point, I had no choice but to get married, which delayed a life-long event. The survey shows that after sexual intercourse, 10.7% of women want to take revenge on the man, and 21.3% of women regret it but cannot get rid of the man. This is the reason; third, the man begins to be suspicious of the woman. Engels once said: "Sex is exclusive." This is true for women, and men are no exception. Men always hope that their girlfriends will only trust themselves and be open to them. Once they have sex with her, they will start to doubt the woman, "Will she do the same to others?" ? "If the woman has dated several partners in the past, this suspicion will increase, which may lead to the termination of the relationship or disharmony in married life.

4. Casting a cloud over the wedding

A wedding is one of the happiest events in life, but if you have had sex before marriage or the bride is pregnant, such a wedding will lose the joy it deserves and will be cast into a dark cloud. As far as newlyweds are concerned, double-talking is nothing new and is just a formality; people around you will also comment and look down on it, thinking it is "indecent". Although some things in traditional concepts are harsh, it is not easy to suddenly reverse the "national conditions" and abandon traditional culture.

5. It causes a lot of unhappiness in married life

Premarital sex is often carried out in a state of fear and "sense of guilt" for fear of being discovered by others. Without a good pregnancy and living environment, it is not only difficult for both parties to experience sexual pleasure. Instead, it leaves a painful sexual experience, which can easily cause sexual dysfunction in one of the couple, such as frigidity, impotence, etc., making the sexual life of the couple difficult to achieve harmony. There is no legal guarantee for premarital sex. If a woman suffers from being abandoned, she will hold a grudge against the man. After marriage, if you complain about this to your husband, and the husband is aggrieved, he will find a "heartbroken man" to ask for justice, causing disputes, illegal accidents, and even getting burned, leading to family misfortune.

Premarital sex is currently showing a trend of increasing numbers and younger and younger people. It has become one of the social issues of widespread concern around the world. In the past ten years, large-scale surveys at home and abroad have shown that the degree of social recognition of premarital sex is not all allowed abroad, with the proportion ranging between 60-70%. Although it has been loosened in China, the proportion is only 0.5%. So, in the face of reality, how to deal with and treat this phenomenon? The author puts forward the following points for consideration and reference.

1. Premarital sex must be strictly distinguished from sexual chaos. Premarital sex is by no means a measure of worldly conduct and social civilization, and the two must not be confused.

2. Let young men and women in love have sexual relations after marriage. It seems that society has become helpless. Only educational guidance, improving cognitive level and improving personality quality can be a good strategy.

3. Sex is the prerequisite of love, but love with only sex is not strong. When women realize that their biased, naive, impulsive psychological motivations and that premarital sex may bring many adverse consequences to themselves, they will learn to get out of this love misunderstanding on their own, seek and develop love, and move from the inevitable kingdom of love to the free kingdom. Behavior.