"Every time I see her, I always have an irresistible impulse." "I saw her again this afternoon. She is so beautiful. I really like her." Tian is very happy, does she like me too?” When you see the words in this diary, you might think it is a diary written by a boy in junior high school or high school, describing the feeling of first love. In fact, this is a diary written by a boy who has just entered the first year of high school. The diary of a girl named Xiaoyue (pseudonym).

When Xiaoyue's mother accidentally read this passage, an indescribable complex emotion arose spontaneously. Could it be that the education she had started in junior high school to prohibit early love ended up with her daughter? Turning love towards same-sex couples?

Yu Hua, a psychological counselor at the Beijing Juvenile Legal and Psychological Counseling Service Center, said that based on his many years of work experience, this phenomenon is generally relatively rare, but there have been two cases in the past month. This time, the other one was also a girl who was just a sophomore in high school. Although relatively rare, it makes us re-examine our attitude towards puppy love.

Most parents or teachers block the issue of early love, which will cause children to have fear of the opposite sex.

Two girls call each other husband and wife. We can often see this reality in junior high or high school campuses. According to our traditional way of thinking, two girls cuddling together seems to be a kind of The embodiment of friendship. Neither children nor parents nor teachers will criticize this behavior. In fact, this is misleading.

What most parents or teachers are concerned about or prohibit is the interaction between opposite sexes. If it is too frequent, parents will come forward to discourage it and the teacher will talk to both parties. Until the seeds of love are extinguished. In fact, this approach not only fails to achieve the desired goal, but also causes children to feel excluded or afraid of the opposite sex when choosing partners.

“Children need idols when they are growing up, especially for adolescent children, who have a human instinct to worship. Many girls like to imitate the way other beautiful girls walk, while boys Like famous athletes, like sports to show their strength, in fact, this is out of a kind of instinctive imitation and the need to be recognized by the same sex and the opposite sex.”

${FDPageBreak}And most of them. Parents or teachers often block the issue of early love altogether, inculcating how bad impact it will have on children. This will cause children to have fear of the opposite sex, and will also have resistance when in contact with the opposite sex. Children at this age also have this natural need for love, both the need to love others and the need to be loved. Over time, this unreleasable love will naturally gravitate towards the same sex. From the outside, I feel that it is safe to be with someone of the same sex, and I will not be criticized by parents or teachers. In this situation where the ability to define gender in adolescence is not very strong, gender deviation will occur, leading to the emergence of homosexuality in adolescence.

For the change of gender orientation in adolescence, not only the attitude of parents and teachers towards "puppy love" must be addressed, but the parents' contact with the opposite sex will also affect the children in a subtle way.

How to establish children’s sexual orientation and how to deal with the problem of puppy love is an issue worthy of our consideration. There are many ways to solve the problem of "puppy love". Many parents and teachers adopt a tough attitude to solve the problem, but the result is counterproductive. Children's puppy love is actually an expression of normal feelings, sometimes even very simple, but it is not what we adults think. excessive. Therefore, parents must communicate with their children in various aspects. They must not only respect the children, but also respect the children's feelings. Sometimes the children's feelings are very strong. Do not put yourself above the children and deal with such problems in a reprimanding and sarcastic tone. .

At the same time, we must frankly explain to him the responsibilities of both parties in love, not only not to hurt the other party, but also to consider the problem from the other party's perspective, so that the children can not only understand the parents' good intentions, but also learn from this aspect Learn the principles of life and grow up slowly.

Of course, at this stage, the way children interact with the opposite sex is largely imitated by adults. As a parent, you must first deal with the way of contact with the opposite sex, so that the child feels that no matter whether it is with the opposite sex Same-sex contact is a normal thing. Xiao Yue's mother is a counter-example. When she was conducting such a kind of psychological treatment for her child, she still worked with a female companion to make decisions for her. This would subconsciously tell Xiao Yue that the same sex is safe and reliable, while ignoring the opposite sex. irreplaceable status and role in life.

As a parent, you should use guidance to solve the psychological problems of your children, especially adolescents, respect your children's feelings, and don't ask your children based on parents' standards. The child's own growth is an irresistible force, and only through communication and guidance can you solve the psychological problems of your children. It is the best way to solve the problems of children's growth, and it is also a good medicine to help children truly mature!

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