A note conveying thoughts and carefully arranging reunion time

Guo Yihong, special correspondent of Life Times in the United States

Marriage is two people building a family, living together, and getting along day and night from then on - ―This is how most people understand marriage. But in real life, due to changes in the nature of work and work location, many couples have to face long-term separation in two places. There are also couples who, despite living under the same roof, rarely see each other due to differences in work and rest schedules. According to a May 30 report by the American "Network MD", statistics from the Center for the Study of Separated Couples in the United States show that at least 3.5 million people are involuntarily separated from their spouses.

American psychotherapist Tesena pointed out in the book "Marriage Living in Two Places" that separation in two places has both benefits and problems for marriage. When separated, both parties will often recall each other's strengths, bringing a sense of freshness to the relationship between husband and wife. On the other hand, if both parties begin to hate the separation and cannot communicate well with each other, the marriage will soon turn into a red flag. "I personally support separation between the two places. The distance makes the husband and wife lose a sense of belonging and have more autonomy. They can exercise their ability to deal with problems alone and enhance their self-confidence. This helps balance the relationship between husband and wife and avoid unnecessary conflicts. It’s all beneficial.”

Besides, time is precious to everyone. Living in two places ensures that each other has complete independent time, and there is no need to worry about whether they are in tune with each other.

The American "Internet MD" also gave some "tips" suitable for couples who are separated in two places: It is the most critical point for both parties to maintain a positive and optimistic attitude towards life. Make full use of high-tech communication methods such as mobile phones, the Internet, and electronic imaging to maintain good communication. The one who stays at home should try his best to solve the problems in life by himself, such as finding maintenance workers, cleaners or temporary nannies, so that the one who works outside has no worries. Cultivate interests and hobbies to make your life alone more colorful. Often give the other person some unexpected surprises, such as putting a family photo in your lover's suitcase or writing a note to make him feel that you are thinking of him. Carefully arrange the reunion time and deeply appreciate the warmth of family.

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